Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
