I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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