my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
