Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
