"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
