i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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