If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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