He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The Olympian is in my bed
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
