i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He felt like a one man threesome
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize