I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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