do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize