you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
