I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
