3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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