she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
