He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
