IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
