So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
