i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
