she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize