I think my vagina is haunted
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Let's get the cat blown out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
