Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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