why didn't you poke me back
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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