that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
