I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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