and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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