when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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