So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
