oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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