that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
