apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
