I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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