goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize