Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
