Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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