Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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