I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
