Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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