there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
