I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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