I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
