It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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