how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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