she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
