The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
