I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
