Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
