listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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