As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
