do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
