we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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