Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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