She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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