Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
