One girl and one boy is just not enough.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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