Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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