Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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