But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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