Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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