Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
