ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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