she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
