dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish you could order shots online.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They have beer where we have blood.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
