remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
50% drunk capacity currently
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
