Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
