This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
