You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
