I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
