Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
